Monday, May 9, 2011

"The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't."

This post is too long. You will deal with it, as That Blond Guy issued me a challenge. I hope I don't bore you.
This is the most fantastically enthralling post I have ever written.

My name is unimportant. What really matters is the contents of my heart.  My wallet if you're that sort of person.  Gabrielle. 

Is your name on Blogger your name in real life? If not, what letter does your real name start with?

I just told you what my name was. Did you expect me to assume you're asking for my nonexistent Blogger name? Fine. My name in real life starts with a 'P' and ends with an 'enis'. I got made fun of a lot as a child. I mean, a penis is a totally normal anatomical feature! I mean, it could have been because I am a girl and the world is a horrible place.

Tolerance is extremely important to teach, which is why I'll be naming my children Harry-Dicksley and Pizzaface.

Astrological sign?
Sagittarius.  Apparently Sags like to explore.  And we get into cynical relationships. The internet makes me laugh.

If there was a huge 'Blogspot Get-Together' where all bloggers were meant to come together and meet in real-life, would you go?

Yes! Why are there quotation marks around 'Blogspot Get-Together'? I mean, if you're thinking about it as a name for the get-together, but it isn't really catchy. 

I would end up spending a lot of time avoiding self-absorbed depressed hipster kids who write blogs about death, and makeup bloggers with flashy myspace pages, however. I attract them like bees to honey or hyper children to delicate objects or guys' eyes towards cleavage. 

Have you ever rejected someone?
Surprisingly, yes. Shall I summarize them? I'm going to summarize them. My tactlessness was quite funny.
NOTE: A walk back, a very Jewish summer camp sort of thing, is when a guy walks you back to your cabin then tries to make out with you in the woods.

1) Kid with Harry Potter glasses at camp after grade 4. As he had Harry Potter glasses, I don't know why I wasn't in love with him. Anyways, a girl told me he wanted to go on a walk back with me, I thought it was a cruel joke, and he apparently cried behind his cabin when I said no. 
2) Opinionated redhead. The summer after that, I was asked on a walk back by a really nice kid who I had no attraction to whatsoever. I didn't really have crushes yet. I said no, ran away, then five minutes later walked back to him and told him "Okay, as long as it's just as friends." He dislikes me now, for that and other reasons.
3) 11 year old with a mission. Again at camp, when I was around 13, I met an eleven year old French Canadian. He offered to read French Archie comics with me; he would translate (by the lake as the sun set.) As soon as he finished that sentence, he asked me if I would go on a walk back. I walked away as fast as I could, while explaining that "Ithinkyou'reniceandallyouseebutyoureonlycuteinababywayandIkindofsortofhaveaboyfriend." Poor kid.

If so, was it harshly?
I told you my rejection stories. Decide on how bitchy I acted on your freaking own on a scale of 1:Go hug more bunnies, or something to 10: You're blaming your boyfriend for ruining your favourite Gucci purse because he has nice abs.

Did they cry?
I told you.  I feel remorseful. Nobody will ever love me ever again. Stop rubbing it in. 

Have you ever tried a cigarette?
No. I have a problem with cigarettes. I graphed them with Best Friend (who knows this URL now. Yay!) on our graph of morality, and they're bad. I graph things. Shut up.

Have you ever been high? If so, on what?

Now, being high isn't quite as bad on our graph, although the figures don't quite condone it. But no. I don't like things that change the already weird way my brain works, especially when ADHD screws it over a bit already. Plus, I'd totally send out weird text messages to people asking them if they know any nice guys who like conversations about dark matter and the benefits of LSD.

What are six things you find attractive when in the opposite gender?
Echad:  Intellectuals are wonderful, as long as they aren't snobs or condescending. 

Shtayim: They must be nice, socially aware, and idealistic to a point, but still honest and realistic.
Shalosh:  Attractive. HINT: I find Bernard from Megamind strangely attractive. To an unhealthy extent. I try to avoid the fact that in most of his appearances, he is actually a creep with a big blue head. And that he's fictional and animated.
Arbah: They must be at least almost as weird as me. I need someone who gets me, how my brain works. They should like exploring, and learning, and nature.
Chamesh: I adore good conversationalists- by that I mean someone who I can nerdspeak with - but he must be able to deal with silence too, because silence is important. I get annoyed with people who only seem capable of small talk.
Shesh: Um. I know most girls are probably confused by this, but I see nothing wrong with a guy being a bit clingy. As long as he doesn't intrude on my personal space. It makes me feel loved. 

What are five things you find extremely unattractive in the opposite gender?

Un: Guys with really low self esteem bother me if they act wimpy because of it. So much. So does inflated self esteem if the guy a jerk about having an ego, actually. Just have normal self worth, or hide your ego problems. Or I will eat you in a non-sexual manner.
Deux: Fake people. If you avoid eye contact when you're around your guy friends and an hour before we were having an in depth discussion on something amazing, I will probably be very pissed off at you. In a quiet burning fashion that involves voodoo, carrots, and my rabbit who has gutted a plush chair before and would quite happily gut a doll filled with a food she likes. 
Trois:  It disappoints me when someone seems really nice and is attractive, then you initiate flirtatious eye contact, only to find out that he is, in fact, nice, but also wants to be a dentist when he grows up and has no talents besides the violin lessons his parents make him go to. No offense meant towards dentists or violinists. That kid was just disappointing. As much as I respect and love nice people, if you are boring I will become sad.
Quatre: People who are close minded. I love people with opinions, but I will also get very close to verbally ripping into people who state the same opinion over and over and over again. Especially if the close mindedness extends into "I hate mud because mud is mean and can never ever be amazing." Mud is wonderful.
Cinq: Unadventurous people. I love camping. I love nature. I am a plaid flannel and overall wearing backwoodsman at heart, and if you don't like looking up at the stars night sky on a cool evening in the middle of nowhere, I would be sad.

Answer only if you have a sibling: If your sibling wasn't your sibling, do you think you'd ever find him/her attractive and go out with him/her?
It depends on whether or not I grew up with him. You see, with people you've known from before a certain age your body produces hormones that actually repel you from them sexually. So, theoretically, if I didn't grow up with him, yes. But in actuality, he's too much of a jerk to be my type, anyways. 

Did I mention that you're sick?
Would you ever eat a caterpillar?
Due to religious restrictions, I cannot, in fact, eat a caterpillar. I would totally marry one, though. They're cute.

If yes, why?

Is this question really necessary as a separate one from the previous? You could just include it in the previous question. I mean, if what you're trying to do is get people to embarrass themselves, then you may succeed, except I see no wrong with caterpillar eating.
If no, why?
You see? This is so redundant! I already told you off twice about this. Don't make me do it again. I'm warning you.
Would you rather kiss a random stranger on the street of the opposite gender or tickle a random stranger on the street of the opposite gender?

I bet the person who wrote this is a creepy old guy who likes to fantasize about young fresh bloggers groping people. That's creepy, dude. I have a rape whistle. No, really. My uncle bought me this one just last week.
Would you rather throw up on stage or fart on stage?
I have that wonderful skill of farting quietly then looking innocent.
Would you ever sneak out of the house at night?
Depends. Like, for a wild party with drugs and stuff, no, because I'd end up sitting in a corner. Maybe for a Nerdfighters gathering or a book signing. A late night, sexy one. I will find Hank Green or Christopher Paolini and squeeze their butts to see where it goes from there.
Do you think this survey was weird?
Weird is objective. But I was a bit bewildered by the incest question. Problems caused by genetic inbreeding are not sexy.
Did you find it enjoyable?
I find joy in life in general, and I got to stare at Bernard's face. But really, get some confidence pants. You spelled stuff correctly, which is good. 

Which five bloggers will you be tagging to take this survey as well?
Do I know five bloggers? Let me think.
Oh hey there :)
Randomly Yakking
Give Up Sex or Dinosaurs? 
Almost Out of Ink can draw me a picture if she feels nice, instead!!! Only if she feels like it.


P.S. I'm quite partial to this font. What do you think? Should I give my blog a makeover?


  1. I'll draw you a peekature. :D
    Email me what you'd like.

  2. POOR YOU. I have a friend called "Dennis" and he suffered many a penis joke all through junior high.

    I kind of dislike the font, but if you like it, then by all means, go ahead! :)

  4. Yay! Thank you!

    But where is "penis?!" You were supposed to include "penis." I WANT PENIS!!!

    Sorry for tagging you. I want to find the person who wrote this survey and eat them. I won't even chew. I'll just swallow them whole. Well, actually, I might chew a bit.

    Concerning the font, New York abstains. Courteously.

  5. I'm kind of a prude so... sorry!!! But blah. LOOK AT ME I'M SO AWKWARD. Ha. Haha. Goodbye. Thanks for the link though! xp

  6. Jess: XD Poor kid.
    Sana: Yes, you do. Write it.
    That Blond Guy: I did, silly. See the second question. I even resorted to not particularly entertaining banter so I could include it and not just allude to it.
    Esther: That's okay! :D

  7. Very interesting survey. :P I did LOL a few times, which is abnormal for me. So it was very impressive. ;)

    I LOVE THAT FONT!!!! Always have, and always will. ;)


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