I think that bad colds are one of the most wretched things ever. I've been walking around the house with glazed eyes and a tissue box acting as an extension of myself.
The problem with colds is that they aren't quite bad enough to miss anything important for without sounding like a half-arsed excuse. Even internal Overachiever Gabi doesn't like it, which is frustrating enough.
Body: My head hurds, and my nose is sduffy. Also, I dond thik thad my brain is functioning pwoperly.
Overachiever Gabi: Shut up. Deal with it. Drop and give me twenty.
Body: Bud. . . everyding. Id all hurds.
Realistic Gabi: Seriously, Overachiever. We're supposed to be in pain here.
Body: Yes. Let me get fat.
Scholarly Gabi: To get clinically overweight you would need to have a body mass index in the 85th percentile or above. That would mean you would have to have a net gain of calories. If you would like to do it in a week, you would need to have the right amount of calories, that is to say, two thousand six hundred elevendy twelve -- I mean, 2 and 5-- NO WAIT. BANANASMONKEYSDUCKS ERROR
ADHD Gabi: OMIGOSH SHE'S DEAD?! WHAT?!
Musical Gabi: ♫Dingdong the witch is dead!♫
Nice Gabi: This isn't the right time for singing, darling.
Body: I feel a sneeze coming. Id's coming. Gedd me a dissue. ACHOOOO!
ADHD Gabi: Your boogers look funny. Kind of like lemurs. REMEMBER ZABOOMAFOO?
Musical Gabi: ♫ME AND YOU AND ZOBOOMAFOOOOO♫
Teenager Gabi: I've been trying to feel sorry for myself over here. Go away. And can I give ADHD Gabi some Ritalin? Please?
Girly Gabi: Can I join you? Sniffling is so, like, unattractive.
Overachiever Gabi: Will somebody please resuscitate Scholarly Gabi? We have some math work that needs to be done.
Coach Gabi: YES. I KNOW CPR. I ALSO LIKE TO IMAGINE THAT I CAN LIFT CARS OVER MY HEAD. BODY, GO LIFT WEIGHTS.
Body: I'm. Frigging. Sick.
ADHD Gabi: I like waffles. I had some waffles with ice cream on them last night. And sprinkles. At a bar mitzvah. Isn't it funny when old people dance? I like flowers.
Scholarly Gabi: I'm surprised at how interestingly you managed to leap from thought to thought.
Nice Gabi: She's alive!
Motherly Gabi: Let's just give her some chicken soup and she'll perk right up.
Hippie Gabi: I'm a vegetarian.
Body: Can I go do sleep dow?
Anyway, that's my brain. I think I'm going to roll with Overachiever Gabi for a while and try to get some work done.
But first, PHOTOS!
I took this picture at the park near my house. I think that whoever did this is really awesome, but needs to learn how to spell Chewbacca.
And this person's house made me really happy. It feels magical, which is too rare in cities. I want a magical house one day.