Pages

Sunday, May 15, 2011

I feel like a pale English person who burns easily. I guess I am, genetically. I also feel like one who perpetuates stereotypes.

I have learned a some things quite recently:
A) I seem to have atrocious taste in fonts, since nobody liked the one in my last post. Maybe I'll just give up and set all of my posts in papyrus, or comic sans, or even wingdings, and wait for the typists to come after me. Perhaps my particular font choice last time had to do with me secretly loving Turing (my first proper programming language) and its ugly fonts. 
B) One should only be weird to a certain degree around new people. Hiding under shelves wearing Real-D 3D glasses, a funny wig, and a creepy mask is not the best approach to hide and go seek when there is a guy the same age as you around. Some things can, in fact, cross the big red line of social appropriateness. Large nerd-style glasses do not mean instantaneous friendship. Not that I'm writing based on experience at all. 
C) When one claims that s/he and  his/her sibling can hear voices, and that it's a "genetic thing", people often believe you if their only other impression of you is of a teenager playing dress-up and hiding under shelves.
D) Announcing afterwards that one is going to "be normal from now on!" doesn't work too well.
E) Even after doing actions B to D, one can still be well-liked at Friday night dinners if the stars are properly aligned. 


**********************************************
For some reason, I agreed to walk over to a family friend's house to babysit his child while he went out on a Saturday evening before Shabbat ended. When I got there, wet from the rain, the kid was asleep, which was good. One problem: He left the TV on. Since it wouldn't have felt quite right to ask him to turn it off for me, and I can't turn on and off or adjust appliances until after sundown, I would be having a nice (?) TV background on until later that night. It was fine for a while, and I read my books in a corner. Then, of course, came the creepy music. I was sitting alone in a largish house with The Silence of the Lambs playing in a dim room. I spent the next 2 hours hiding in the brightly lit kitchen with the family dog, listening to the screams of helpless victims. 


On to less wimpy things!
I have recieved
SCHOLARLY GABI: 'I' BEFORE 'E' EXCEPT AFTER 'C', SCURRILOUS KNAVE!
received some sort of award from Lola. I do not understand this award, but I think I have to make laws, and then pass on this award to more people. 


Oh. Okay. It's called the Overlord Award. Okay, three laws!


1)  Practise the three 'R's: I know, I'm so selfless and wonderful. The three 'R's are Reduce, Reuse, and Recycle, not Reading, 'Riting, and 'Rithmatic, because that would be dumb. So, conserve. To make this law less lame, I will institute some sort of punishment that I haven't decided on yet. A lifetime's sentence of labour on Mars? Cleaning my rabbit's cage? Cleaning my giant, violent, hungry T-rex's cage?
2) Singing is allowed everywhere. I like singing.
3) Random fact day. This is a day where the geeky part of our population is allowed to spout as much miscellania as they want, without social repercussions, on the condition that each brings me one. Because my brain soaks up knowledge. Like a sea-sponge. I know sea-sponges aren't porous, but deal with it.
(Real conversation I had. Scholarly Gabi was in the driver's seat that day.
Friend: How much water would be in the sea if there weren't any sponges?
Me: Sea sponges are made of limestone. Also, there would be the same amount of water regardless, as the only thing that the sponges would increase is the volume. 
Friend: Uh. I was making a joke.)


I'm lame, and have next to no overlordly tendencies. I think I'm supposed to pass this on to people? I don't know how this works. *acts clueless* Oh, well! I'll just have to not tag anyone! What a shame. 




-Gabi 

4 comments:

  1. I laughed like twenty times in this. You make me smile. Nice post, Gabs.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Congrats on the award!

    Also, a suggestion. Try to have more spacings. Like, between each 1) 2) 3) lines - makes it easier to read.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hahaha! Awesome post, Gabi! :)

    ReplyDelete

You should write something in that little box there.