Pages

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

I have a farmer's, flip-flop, bathing suit, bikini, and watch tan. I'm not even a redhead.

Hello. Gabi here.

Coach Gabi: DON'T YOU HAVE ANYTHING ELSE TO SAY?!

I'm kind of just hoping that the words will flow, you know?

Coach Gabi: WELL PUSH THAT FLOW.

ADHD Gabi: (giggles) That's what she said!

Girly Gabi: How come she gets all the guys?!

Scholarly Gabi: I believe that the woman that is referred to by the pronoun "she" in that sentence does not exist. Correct me if I'm wrong, but it is said whenever --

Honest Gabi: (to Girly Gabi) What my well-read friend should be saying is that you were kissed this summer by the same nerdboy you talked about all year. Stop whining.

Scholarly Gabi: Also, it's virtually impossible for one female to "get" all males regardless. To have any sort of physical contact at all with every male on the planet, even only limiting oneself to hominids, wouldn't work, let alone any contact that is --

Girly Gabi: I know we kissed! But then he was mean!

Teenage Gabi: My heart shattered into thousands of tiny, glistening, blood-coated shards when I found out that he was using me.

Girly Gabi: You're so right! And he's still so hot.

Poetic Gabi: Each time I gaze at the stars we lied under together, I remember how they were brighter that night, before he so cruelly spurned me.

Musical Gabi: (Takes out iPod, and begins harmonizing to the song playing) ♫Who do you think you aaaarreeee running round leavin' scaaaarrsss♫

ADHD Gabi: I have a lot of bruises on my legs. A lot of them are from walking into benches.

Honest Gabi: Actually, almost all of them are.

Teenage Gabi: My heart has bruises.

Coach Gabi: I HAVE BRUISES FROM SHEER DETERMINATION. YOU KNOW WHAT I DID THIS SUMMER? I CARRIED FOOD BARRELS, I CARRIED CANOES AS SOON AS THE FOOD BARRELS BECAME LIGHTER THAN THE CANOES, AND I BARREL ROLLED. I BARREL ROLLED A KAYAK AND A CANOE. WITH SHEER DETERMINATION! AND A PADDLE!

Nice Gabi: You all need a nice, hot cup of tea.

ADHD Gabi: So when I barrel rolled, I went upside down, and then I moved the paddle and I wasn't upside down anymore! And then I did it again and again!

Coach Gabi: THAT'S RIGHT! YOU ARE A MASTER IN KAYAKING. YOU EVEN HAVE A ROPE BRACELET  AND A CERTIFICATE TO PROVE IT!

ADHD Gabi: Um. . .

Coach Gabi: WHERE'S THE BRACELET?!

ADHD Gabi: Ilostit.

Coach Gabi: WHAT?!

ADHD Gabi: I was swimming with our cousins in their pool -

Honest Gabi: Our aunt and uncle are rich because they're both doctors--

ADHD Gabi: and I took it off and then I forgot it at their house and then I did the same thing with my cabin bracelet and please don't hate me!!

Girly Gabi: THAT BRACELET WAS FROM OUR GIRL BONDING!

Poetic Gabi: Those both held so much sentimental value. I'll write eulogies.

Coach Gabi: THAT'S IT! WE'RE GIVING YOU A HIGHER DOSE OF RITALIN.

ADHD Gabi: But I don't take ritalin.

Scholarly Gabi: We're on 40 milligrams of --

Hippy Gabi: I will not allow those chemicals into my body!

ADHD Gabi: AAAH COOL LIGHTNING! I LOVE THUNDERSTORMS!

Hippy Gabi: Mother Nature is so enlightening.

Poetic Gabi: I think we should go stand barefoot outside right by the lake at the cottage underneath a tree to feel inspired.

Coach Gabi: LET'S DO IT!!

10 minutes later

Poetic Gabi: That was beautiful.

Teenage Gabi: I can't believe our parents made us go back inside.

Nice Gabi: I'm getting a bit worried about Common Sense Gabi. Has anyone seen her around lately?

ADHD Gabi: I saw her tied up in a closet right before we put silly notes that couldn't possibly have been interpreted as creepy in the guys' cabins! I forgot to tell you guys! Haven't seen her since!

***********************************************
Hullo, everyone! I'm back home. Kind of.
This is being posted from my grandparents' cottage, which is a half acre of property with a cosy cabin right by the lake. It's beautiful, especially with the lightning illuminating the tree branches in the dark once in a while.

On another note, I'm fully expecting my cold (which I may or may not have gotten from a certain guy) to get worse after tonight.

Time to catch up on peoples' blogs. Or maybe not. I'll see.

-Gabi