I italicized the stage directions first, I really did.

I have decided to back out of Script Frenzy. This will be explained by my brain:


COACH GABI: GAB. RI. ELLE! (She separates my name into three syllables.) WHERE'S YOU STICK-TO-IT-IVENESS?

CONTEMPLATIVE GABI: Is that even a word? I mean, I think I've seen it before, the question is where. Maybe in -

COACH GABI: LIKE I WAS SAYING, YOU ARE A WIMPY WIMP-FACE. YOU SIGNED UP FOR SCRIPT FRENZY. HEAR ME, SCRIPT FRENZY! NOW YOU'RE BACKING OUT!?

(CONTEMPLATIVE GABI hides in corner.)

NICE GABI: Aww, look at what you've done to her.

SCHOLARLY GABI: (goes to CONTEMPLATIVE GABI'S hiding corner, a look of interest on her face and scribbling on a marble patterned old fashioned note-pad.) Subject shows signs of withdrawn teenager disease.

TYPE-A GABI: Excuse me, Coach, but this decision has a logical basis, if you don't mind me saying so. You see, I need good marks in school, and Script Frenzy would only interfere with it, though it is a good learning experience. I will have enough time to study that way.

REALISTIC GABI: What you mean when you say studying is spending time online and playing guitar badly.

MUSICAL GABI: (looks offended) Hmph.

COACH GABI: SO YOU CAN DO ALL OF THEM! BE A WINNER!

MUSICAL GABI: ♫ No one likes losers which is whyyyyy God hates Loseeeerrrsssss ♫ (NOTE: An actual song :D) (twirls)

REALISTIC GABI: Trying to do all of them would lead to ruin.

SCHOLARLY GABI: (nods vigorously) Yes, yes. There have been studies done.

ADHD GABI: (squeals) Oh. My. Gosh. There's a website that sells mini giraffes. I must have a mini giraffe.

CHORUS: ♫Giraaaaaffffffeeeeeeeee♫
(MUSICAL GABI harmonizes)

NICE GABI: Where's Nerdy Gabi been? I hope she's okay.

GIRLY GABI: Oh no, she's probably being socially inept with someone attractive. (wails)

REALISTIC GABI: She is.

(COACH GABI begins to look angry. She clenches her fists and is about to say something when NICE GABI approaches her, giving her an apologetic hug. They exit DL)

GIRLY GABI: Does my butt look big in this?

(REALISTIC GABI opens her mouth to speak. CONTEMPLATIVE GABI shakes her head no.)

(Enter NERDY GABI UR)

NERDY GABI: Is it considered socially acceptable to have a long discussion about the nature of Klein bottle? I think he may have been bored.

REALISTIC GABI: He'll tell all of his friends about how weird you are.

GIRLY GABI: Crap. Who were you speaking to?

NERDY GABI: I think his name was something like Leo Di Coopryo.

CONTEMPLATIVE GABI: Fuck.

CHORUS: ♫The eeeeennndddd♫

(MUSICAL GABI tries to hit a high note, and fails. Glass shatters.)


END


If you are wondering, Contemplative Gabi likes Leo because of his role in Romeo + Juliet as the angsty teenager. Also, I don't actually swear out loud, but inner me s tend to.


<3 Gabi 

"The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing." - Socrates


A couple of days ago I came across a really great website/wiki, through a fanfiction I read. (Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality. Check it out.) It's called Less Wrong, and it's pretty amazing. The description on the home page is:


"Less Wrong is devoted to refining the art of human rationality — the art of thinking. The new math and science deserves to be applied to our daily lives, and heard in our public voices."


I was blown away by the sheer amount of thought-provoking things on the site, and by how seldom I actually think about those things. There is so much to learn. A scary amount. An amount that sends my brain reeling. I have this intense, insatiable want for information, to the point of needing to learn. There is so much out there, and it hit me hard.


I'm beginning to learn that I know nothing, which in no way, shape, or form makes me feel any wiser. If anything, I'm losing copious amounts of inner peace. The number of things that I'm probably wrong about in my day to day life scares me, and the number of things I'll never know makes me sad. I will always crave knowledge and have a desire to learn.  


Something fascinates me in Socrates' quote, about knowing that you know nothing. Since one has to know that, I don't think that he is saying that we know nothing in the conventional sense. Humans as a nation seem to know quite a bit. What Socrates means is that every time we learn something new, new avenues open up for us, new questions are born. Every time we learn something new, we know a little bit less, too, since to us, we have more to learn. 


Was that a sufficiently poetic, nonsensical, and somewhat mind-blowing insight? 




Also,
IT'S FRIDAY FRIDAY GOTTA GET DOWN ON FRIDAY EVERYBODY'S LOOKING FORWARD TO THE WEEKEND WEEKEND PARTYING PARTYING YEAH! x4 FUN FUN FUN FUN

Oh, Rebecca Black. I think I love you. 

-Gabi

Socks today:  My socks are never interesting anymore. D:

A Mess of Contradictions

At my grandparents' house on my dad's side, they have a shelf filled with encyclopedias, theories of evolution, and Shakespeare. The shelf right next to that is filled with prayer books and bibles. They just offered to buy tickets to see Billy Elliot with me, have taken me to a symphony that had an opera song about a guy dying from AIDS, and never fail to ask if I want company at synagogue. They seem to be walking contradictions, and I'm quite convinced that I've inherited that.

Take the scene right now:  I am sitting on my bed dressed in a long skirt that brushes the top of my feet and a v-neck t-shirt through which my bra is somewhat visible. I'm listening to American Idiot. On my expansive bookshelf in a place of honour is the Old Testament and prayer books as well as His Dark Materials. 

Now, if we move to my insides it gets more confusing. I am more religious than my parents have ever been, but I'm striving to move away from the small (understandable) prejudices my family have that come in the package of being one of the most persecuted religions in history. I spent my time in Jewish Day School being the one who settled debates about religion, Hebrew, and laws, and now I'm the one asked about philosophy and science. I'm still more observant than many people who are still at the large Jewish high school in the area, although I chose to not ask my parents to send me to the Jewish high school.

Besides religion: 

A) I have quite a traditional view of marriage and relationships, but I'm questioning my sexuality.

B) When I hear about anything, I view it with two sides that are almost completely detached from each other. One is my empathetic side, which wants to cry. The other side views it with a wholly scientific interest, which worries me.

C) I like lacy things. I would wear a ball gown all the time if I could have full mobility in it. Mobility to dig in soil, play with bugs, carry canoes, run, roll down hills, and take apart machines. 

I admire how my grandparents manage to be so completely at peace with themselves, with the contradictory-person syndrome. It's amazing to me how they manage to make both religion and science such a huge part of their lives, all at once. I'm starting to realise that science and religion can coexist. Like Albert Einstein said, "Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind."

<3 Gabi

I just spent a weekend in Ottawa with my lovely youth group. How To Train Your Dragon is a cute book. I keep writing these long, opinionated, prosey posts, but I never post them. There are little angry businessmen in ugly suits inside my brain, who frown at anything I try hard to write. I'm tempted to write a story involving tying them up and letting them suffer.
I just signed up for Script Frenzy, which is a NaNoWriMo offshoot where you write a script in April. I'll see if I can squash my inner editors further through that.

<3 Gabi

Socks today: Well, I wrote this yesterday, and I didn't post it. My socks were cool. One was checkerboard with small colourful things here and there. The other was black with an orange heel. Yep. Now they're just white.