Friday, April 22, 2011

Are alligators fun to poke?

     This morning  afternoon I woke up, walked downstairs, and saw the newspaper out of the corner of my eye. I was surprised to see this headline on the front page. For some reason I felt as if it had a good connotation:

     My imagination quickly added to this with an esthetically pleasing image that bore some resemblance to this: 

     It then furnished it with a cute little story:

     My just-awoken mind had been taken on a flight of fancy with this lovely story and was taking great pleasure in it. Gabi imagined alligators and policemen finally living in peace, and alligators enjoying freshly baked doughnuts. A whole new era of alligator-policeman peace! Then she realized that it actually said "Police Probe Allegations" and the headline was continued when the newspaper was flipped over and was about a murder. 

     I'm trying to figure out how my brain could have made such a mistake. The only think I can deduce is an overdose of something, that something probably being matzah or sleep. Or lack of doughnuts for the duration of Passover. (Can someone overdose on a lack of something? Thoughtful Gabi will add that to her list of questions to mull over, along with "Does God exist?" "Is society worth it or should I go live with the wolves?" and "Should I stop procrastinating?".) I can also turn my misinterpretation into a whole commentary about how there should really be more alligator probing and less murdering. 

I am now going to go do schoolwork, find a birthday present for my grandfather, stare at my slipper-socks, and do such pleasant things. Toodles!



  1. LOL. That was cute. :D

    Happy Easter! (If you celebrate it.)

  2. Is nothing too sacred to be probed?

  3. Gabi.
    This is a message from your local police department. You have blatantly spread false rumors about the department on your blog, which undermines our authority. We demand you remove them. One, we would like to make it clear that we do not probe alligators, and we never have. This was just us, off duty, visiting the zoo. The only animals we probe on duty are prisoners in their cells, to keep us entertained when we guard the jails. Secondly, the picture included seems to be very photo-edited. Who put the CLEARLY MS PAINTED chocolate doughnut into the first officer's (Joe's) hand? The actual photo would show a carrot in his hand, if anyone is interested in ACTUAL FACTS. Lastly, it has come to my attention that the same person who edited in the doughnut seems to have removed the hair of both policemen in the photo. We do not find this amusing in the slightest.

    If you do not want to suffer the penalty of the law, please remove these lies once.
    -The Police Department of XXX County


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